Thursday, February 17, 2011

since 0.

The things that were irrelevant at the time
dubbed our voices
while we played adult games
we pitifully, smashed mashed up
robots, carefully
disbanding clockwork dreams
waste our breath
in papers and triangles of attainment
since the time of water
a fledgling, conqueror of waste
saddened by no's
we were misunderstood, we were never

Sunday, February 06, 2011

Woman in a bar [part 1]

please read while listening to:
She was a woman of choices. She wore a sulky red dress and faded fairly into the images of the jazz bar we were at. I was there, drowning my lungs in my smoke and second hand smoke and old whiskey while she was seducing scum bags filled with money. She didn't look like a whore, she was just hoping for some honest acquaintance for some easy to spend money. If he was ready to die, all the better. But I won't judge her. She had the eyes that other girls her age didn't have. If I'd have to guess, she could have easily won them over in a game of cards, in a dirty bar or house. She wasn't hanging out with the best characters in town. She was best buddies with the devil's advocate. And I was there, watching her ravage my organs as I drank and drank. She didn't need to talk to me. I was the best victim around. In case you didn't know, I came here every night. I was the bartender's nightly pal. He knew me by my first name. ''Hey Johnny!'' he yelled every time I walked in the bar. I couldn't stand but feel awkwardly funny that I was so well known. I guess that meant that I was either an alcoholic or a man of prestige. Either way, I just hoped she knew my name too. I'd pay her a dollar to spell my name. I was the best at gambling, I even marked cards. Silly, I know. But how's a detective going to earn some money besides running errands for old ladies and weirdo's?

My cigar was melting away, I'd spent enough hours in here and I was beginning to look like a statue frozen in time. My mind was wandering away, caressing her curves in my head with every chance I got. Good thing that there's no way to look into one's mind. I'd be very embarrassed. And then came the shocking realisation. She had been looking at me for quite a while. I awkwardly brushed of my coat fearing that it would have been dirty from the time I came in and removed my hat. She smiled. She smiled and then proceeded to clench her fists and then she bit her finger. She surely knows how to handle a man. A man. Any man, that is. Or me? Eh, that's the job of a psychologist. It's well known that women are far away from them. They cause major headaches. And I had too many headaches in my life to even care for another one.

And there she was, coming right at me. Bearing her long red dress. She didn't mind to hide her nakedness while she was coming. Was this a sign of sexual aggression? I wouldn't pay a dime -or so I thought-. I wouldn't pay a cent. Oh, how wrong I was. She sat down besides me and looked at me in an inquiring way. Five minutes passed and we still hadn't talked.

''Is that how you treat a lady dear?'' she said with her face covered in cigarette smoke..

''It depends on which lady we're talking about miss'', I quickly replied...

Seeing her hopes crumble and die was the best thing I've ever witnessed in my whole life. Just for now, she didn't have the power to smash a man's heart, she couldn't win his sexual desires. And I was all up there, wanting some more blood. I guess I lived for this. I always was a misogynist anyway.

''Oh..and you're such a man. Aren't you?'' she said with her face doused in irony...

And there I was, questioned by a scoundrel woman about my manliness. That's what my dad warned me about some years ago. It would take a woman, just a single woman, to smash your whole life and set it on fire. We men need armies to do our biding, and there she was, just one woman, and she had the whole bar looking at her. It was like she was the devil. And I was truly afraid. I surely was.

I waved at the waiter to bring another drink. Or maybe two. A sip of warm whiskey could make life easier for me. I couldn't stand her presence without pure alcohol running down my veins. She was too trivial for my real life mind to handle, she had gone too far. She wasn't your everyday girl, she was the girl your parents warned you not to meet. I couldn't even handle her myself. Thanks for the warning Dad, you've been good. But now I stirred up the potion and shit's about to hit the fan.

''Your drink sir.'' said the waiter, unknowingly gunning down my thoughts..

''Thank you boy, I appreciate it.'' I kindly replied, by tipping him with a 5 dollar bill.

I then turned and stared right at her face. She was there, even though we were not talking. She couldn't accept that there was a man that she hadn't conquered right from the start. She may have insulted my manliness but she wasn't all over me. She couldn't. She was just sitting there, looking at me with her smokey eyes and her sealed luscious lips. I could have sworn that she was talking in my mind, saying all sorts of nasty stuff. But there she was again. And she was having a good time.

''Now you're a gentleman, mister...?'' she said as she inquired for my name..

And now she wants to know my name.. I brought my cigar in my mouth and had a good sip of nicotine. That was my oxygen tank. And my blood transfusion, was my glass of whiskey. Good think I had both. I wouldn't be alive without them.

''Johnny'' I replied with a monotonous voice.

''Nice to meet you Johnny, I've seen you staring at me quite a few times.'' she said.

''It's my job to do the staring. I've done it over and over again for so many times I could hardly count them.'' I replied with a mysterious hint in my cigarette-scarred voice.

She looked at me and stabbed me with her cornea, right in my mind. There she was, being a good girl and at the same time, drawing men to their unavoidable destiny. She was a mermaid, not a good one. The kind that was dragging sailors to their death. Oh, and the music was just our ship. I had too many sips of whiskey and I was starting to get dizzy. Could I succumb more? Is it possible?

''Boy, boy..You're one of a kind, aren't you? I like men that are mystifying. I usually press on and on for more drinks and money, until I end up on a bed, fully undressed, like a cheap whore. But, not exactly a VERY cheap whore'' she said as she came closer.

I couldn't resist the urges anymore. We came closer and I looked in her eyes. There was the absolute abyss. It was like Dante's inferno.

And this was just the beginning.

Part 2 coming soon.

Friday, February 04, 2011

walking backwards in salonika.

our wisdom teeth never broke
we carried on to outer space
riding on a heart that smoked flowers
cant understand how our dreams got so few
cant see the ground from here, don't you wonder
where's our breath, where did we go
just a little more to nowhere, enough to kickstart us
dying again just to be reborn
stars on your knees, blasting, reacting to peace
war, just war, in your heart.

Thursday, February 03, 2011

Δεν είναι η ροή των άστρων,
ημίφως στο πεύκο που παίρνει
σάρκα κι οστά;
αφηρημένα όπως περνά το ηλιοστάλαχτο
γκρι κορμί της
φευγαλέα απ'τις βελόνες
που λούζονται με νεύμα ηλίου
καλύπτουν φευγαλεες ματιές

Για μας είναι παρελθόν η στάχτη,
είναι κλισέ
μειδίασμα απρόσμενο
ο λεπρος της νυχτιάς, στα φύκια κολλημένος
στην θάλασσα, γυαλί
Φρύνη, και οδύνη
για το άπειρο κάλλος
να βυθίζονται οι στιγμές μου
στην εταίρα, δίδω
αποίκους φεγγαριών για να εκλείψουμε
στα σπήλαια, στις κεραίες
στα μέρη που ηχούν μυθωδίες
κι ας ειναι
η νύχτα παρωδία

Ας ειναι το χώμα που σκεπάζει
τους στρατιώτες
ας στάζει ύδωρ και μέλι
στα άκρα του Άδη
πεινάνε τα στοιχειά
γιατι στην χώρα των νεκρών
αστέρια δεν κεντάνε
για τ'αστέρια δεν μιλάνε.